How did I learn the value of communication?

How important is communication to you? What are you willing to give so you become an effective communicator?

I had to answer these couple of questions when I was young. I did not find the answer at once, and it took me a long time before finally understanding the basic principles of human communication. These principles I now share with others.

I first felt the need to communicate well when my mother brought me back to Camotes Island in Cebu. I was 5 years old then and the only language I knew was Tagalog. It was difficult to talk to people because every one thought I speak Visayan. But necessity compelled me to learn. However, after 3 years, my mother brought me again to Manila. By then, very little Tagalog was left and I was talking to everyone in Visayan. And kids of my age joke about my being “Bisaya” as if being Visayan was a joke. I remember that I was always silent when watching TV in the neighbors house. Adults thought I was nice and polite. All the other kids were noisy. They had this game of guessing the title of every TV commercial. I was silent because I was not confident in my Tagalog.

But then necessity was my natural teacher. After some time, I became the undisputed champion of TV commercial guessing game. In school, my teachers thought that I was also the most talkative student in class for I was ready to speak my mind and share to everyone my thoughts even when they are speaking. Being talkative put me into a lot of troubles. For one, most of my teachers ordered me to keep my mouth shut especially when I blurted out answers to questions my classmates can’t answer. They also mistook my over-eagerness to speak and share what I know for over-confidence. They almost convinced me that talking and sharing thoughts and expressing feelings to people were mortal sins.

Good thing, being talkative brought me a lot of benefits too. I always represented my classes in declamation, oration and other speaking contests. It made me also the designated class leader for almost everyone was afraid to speak in front of the class, and I was not. I was in Elementary when I realized that the ability to communicate with people brings a variety of juicy fruits. It helped me sell goods. From pandesal to bawang, candles, newspaper, and cigarettes, from morning to evening, I used my communicative skills to earn a living.

I also learned that the ability to communicate brings inspiration to people. It happened during an Easter Sunday celebration attended by more than 3000 students coming from various schools in Rizal, Laguna, and Metro Manila. During the celebration of the holy mass, the priest requested me to share my “victory” with the audience. I did wholeheartedly. I was half-way through my impromptu speech when I realized that many were in tears. After that, many students and teachers approached me to say that they were inspired by my story. To touch, to move, and to inspire people, I found out, are the other purposes of communication.

It was rewarding to know that I got connected to people because of the message I had shared. I realized that I didn’t really have to be tall, dark (okay, I am dark!) and handsome for people to listen. And that I don’t even have to speak in flawless English to inspire them.

I want you to know that learning English was not a necessity to me. My parents are not high school graduates and they don’t speak English. No one among my peers in the squatters area speak English. My teachers in high school taught in Taglish. The very few teachers who spoke straight English (I guessed they were. he whole class did not understand them.), were less than the number of fingers in your left hand. Most English words I knew then I learned from reading, and I did not even know how to pronounced correctly most of them. My relatives say that until now I write in English the way Filipinos expressed themselves. I am surprised at all. I am a Filipino and I speak to Filipinos everyday. And I have no problem with that.

Because for most people, the message was paramount. And sincerity, authenticity, enthusiasm, and passion more than made up for my deficiency in the English language. I used these principles when I conducted retreats and leadership seminars during my seminary days. Through them, I became more effective as a student leader as I rallied students to create programs that benefits the whole studentry. I taught for ten years, and these same principles helped me connect to my students. I am now training and speaking before teachers, pastors, managers, and other professionals. Passion, Enthusiasm, Authenticity, Sincerity, and having a compelling message to share sell.

I believe that it is part of our mission to be effective communicators. Communication, more than a tool, is a goal. We yearn to express ourselves better to the people we love and to the people we work with. We do this through better communication. We also desire to listen and understand them. We do this through better communication.

You have your choice. You can stop growing as a communicator (a lot of people do stop growing for the fear to succeed) and be like many who avoided every opportunity to be connected with others. On the other hand, you can continue or renew the resolve to grow as a communicator ( you will belong to the few who face fear and risk failure so they can fly) and be able to express yourself.

Stand up! Speak Out!